Money rules for unmarried couples

By Charize Beukes*

Are you living together, sharing expenses, and building a life … but skipping the wedding? In times gone by this was often frowned upon, but today it’s perfectly normal, common even. Here’s the catch, though: under South African law, this arrangement can leave you dangerously exposed financially.

Despite what many couples believe, the idea of a ‘common-law spouse’ does not exist in South African law. If you’re not married or in a registered civil union, the law treats you as two financially unrelated adults who just happen to share a Netflix password.

That’s fine while things are good, but can quickly become a problem when money, property, illness, or death enter the chat.

If you happen to be an unmarried couple, here’s how you can structure your finances properly, without relying on assumptions, hope, or ‘but everyone knows we were together’.

1. Where there’s a Will, there’s a way

Let’s start with the biggest misconception: your partner automatically inherits anything from you.

That’s not the case under South African intestate succession law if you die without a valid will:

• Your estate goes to blood relatives (children, parents, siblings)
• Your long-term partner may get nothing
• The Master of the High Court will not be moved by heartfelt stories

What actually works:

• A valid South African Will naming your partner as beneficiary
• Clear instructions on property, investments, and personal assets
• An executor who knows what they’re doing

If you want certainty, a testamentary trust can be useful where there are children, uneven contributions, or concerns about future partners or family disputes.

Bottom line: love is emotional, estates are administrative.

2. That roof over your head

Buying property together while unmarried is common, but also risky if not structured correctly.

These are your two most realistic ownership options:

• Joint ownership (usually 50/50)
• Co-ownership with defined shares (e.g. 70/30)

Problems start if contributions are unequal and ownership isn’t clarified because you might still be treated as equal owners, or you could have no claim at all if your name isn’t on the title deed

Here’s what to know:

• Your share must be registered at the Deeds Office
• A cohabitation agreement should spell out:
  • Who paid what
  • What happens if you split
  • What happens if one partner dies

Without this, you’re relying on expensive litigation and unpredictable outcomes, neither of which make great retirement strategies.

3. Cohabitation agreements

While married couples automatically get legal protection, unmarried couples must create their own. The best way to do that is to create a cohabitation agreement that should:

• Define ownership of assets
• Deal with shared expenses and liabilities
• Protect pre-existing wealth

This isn’t a prenup for pessimists; it’s a financial seatbelt that can help to prevent disputes if the relationship ends.

4. A hard tax reality check

Unlike married couples, unmarried partners don’t get special tax treatment.

Here some important SARS realities to bear in mind:

• You will be liable for donations tax if you gift assets or money above the annual exemption
• Transferring assets into your partner’s name can trigger tax
• There’s no automatic rollover relief on death as with spouses
• Capital gains tax may apply where people least expect it

It’s also worth noting that medical aid dependants are not the same as tax dependants, and that retirement fund beneficiary nominations override your will, and must be kept up to date

5. Retirement and investments

If you’re an unmarried couple, I believe that your top financial priority should be how you structure long-term wealth.

In my experience, this is what usually works best:

• Separate retirement funds by making beneficiary nominations clear
• Make joint investments for shared goals (property, offshore assets, business interests)
• Proper estate planning that prioritises liquidity so that the surviving partner isn’t forced to sell assets just to get by.

As I’ve already highlighted, retirement funds don’t automatically flow to the surviving partner in an unmarried relationship. Trustees decide on the distribution of assets based on dependency, not relationship status.

And remember: this process takes time, paperwork, and patience. So, plan ahead to reduce delays and surprises.

6. Medical emergencies

Here’s one aspect of living as an unmarried couple that’s often overlooked: If you’re hospitalised or unable to manage your own affairs, things can become complicated very quickly.

For example, your partner might not automatically be allowed to make medical decisions on your behalf. And if they’re incapacitated, you might be locked out of banks accounts, or relatives might want to step in and take control.

The solution is actually quite simple – put the right documents in place while you’re still healthy and able to make decisions.

Here’s what documents I suggest you consider:

• A durable power of attorney (while you’re alive and capable)
• Living will
• Medical power of attorney

These documents aren’t about expecting the worst, rather they’re about avoiding chaos when life happens.

Marital status might not be what you’re looking for, but that status offers couple many protections and frameworks that you as an unmarried couple cannot take for granted.

That’s where intelligent planning comes in because good documentation turns a risky situation into a structured one. If your ultimate commitment is to build wealth together, then at least ensure the legal and financial foundations match the emotional ones. Otherwise, you might end up with a great love story and a terrible balance sheet.

* Charize Beukes, CFP® is a Financial Planner at Brenthurst Wealth Pretoria